Sunday, October 28, 2012

GOP: Go Pee

Fact: I have never taken a firm stance for, or against abortion, which makes me a more credible political candidate than anyone in the GOP. When confronted with such questions as, “Do you support abortion in instances of rape?” I know to knock over my podium and flee.

In the past weeks, representatives from the GOP have claimed that women have the biological ability to stop themselves from getting pregnant during a rape, and that pregnancy by rape is, “God’s will.”

Why would you touch, or go near those questions? Why would you answer them instead of getting up and socking the person in the jaw? Any question about rape or abortion is so obviously loaded that the person deserves a good punch. Of course, you can’t ignore those kinds of questions in real life. Oh wait, yes you can. Being a politician is all about avoiding the real issues. I’ve proven that I can do that by doing nothing and being indecisive.

Do you need a decision? Like right this minute? I’ll throw red tape at you, and run away.

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