Friday, May 31, 2013

Han Shot First

A lot of nerds (and I mean a LOT) go apeshit over the whole who shot first Han or Greedo. From that same scene, they'll also point out that a parsec is a unit of measurement and not time, even though it's a movie about wizards and Muppets using magic in the future which is also the past.
Nobody, but nobody ever mentions that Han essentially has the exact same conversation as he does with Greedo later with Jabba the Hutt in his hangar. This scene was intended for the original release and was digitally altered and added with the theatrical re-release, so it's cannon. Basically, Han tries to sweet-talk his way out of debt/death, which didn't go over too well with Greedo. For some reason, Han is able to escape with his life by etching out the details of a shady deal that already went tits up for Jaba before. Why? Is Han a Jedi (which would make sense) or is Jabba the most dumbass gangster in his backwater section of space? In the next movie, when Han has access to easy money and political power, (plus a link to the Rebel Alliance which is probably in need of blackmarket weapons Jaba deals in), Han gets frozen in carbonite and hand-delivered by Bobba Fette. What changes in the undeclared amount of time between the two movies?
Jabba doesn't even seem to care too much about Greedo in the scene, even though he was killed in front of a large group of Cantina patrons. How does Han escape immediate justice from all the Storm Troopers mulling about? Even if no one talks, they must have heard the laser blast from down the street. They'd probably circle back anyway because they're not getting off that planet without finding those droids. They'd find Greedo's dead body and start asking questions, and they'd break heads if they didn't like the answers.
What about the space monster that Obi Wan cuts an arm off of? Doesn't he need medical assistance? Won't the Storm Trooper find it suspicious that someone's reporting they got their arm cut off by a Jedi weapon?
Plus, the droids are standing right outside the Cantina in the hot sun without Obi Wan to cloud the minds of the Storm Troopers for them. How did they escape?

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