Harlem Shake: A Study

I watched 37 minutes of Harlem Shake videos today, and I’ve began noticing trends within the trend.

The most common trend is outdoor Harlem Shakes in the snow with inadequate clothing, such as underwear and bikinis. The is likely due to the height of the Harlem Shake’s popularity landing in the dead of an especially harsh winter, combined with the drive to create the most “zany” Harlem Shake video.

The second most common trend is to ditch the authentic motorcross helmet used at the start in favour of an improvised mask or helmet, or nothing at all. I’ve seen people with boxes on their heads, Minecraft’s Steve masks, Halo helmets and Super Mario hats. Horse masks are very, very prevalent, as it is the internet. People are just slapping whatever they want on their heads and calling it in. There’s countless videos featuring sports mascots from every level of play as the starter.

With the crowds there’s two main types of groups. There’s either the minimalist with the smallest possible group of four or less, or maximized groups counting into the hundreds. There’s more than a few where it’s only one person, or a person with their cat, etc, with digital effects during the blitz to copy themselves. That’s very, very sad. It’s sad that they couldn’t find even one other willing participant when the only requirement is for that person to flop around like crazy.

I’ve only seen one non-participant in any Harlem Shake video. It was a Guido version, and they had a big fat bald dude in a white baseball shirt stand against the wall and take it all in, because he’s too gangsta to join in, or some shit.

The military is in full force. My suspicion is that every active soldier from the US has been in a Harlem Shake video. That goes for firemen too. For some reason, people in uniform do it better.

I’ve yet to see a person fuck up the “acting casual” and “not noticing” part of the first half of every Harlem Shake video. There was on unconvincing woman in a party setting, but that was it. For the most part, everyone in the world can act as an extra. Shakespeare was right about all the world being a stage.

Weirdly, the more the confined space the video is set in, the better it is. The original, the sequel, and one in a fire truck are three of the best. The first two took place in cramped apartments. Open fields and stadiums don’t do as well.

Every person with their own youtube channel thought it necessary to make a Harlem Shake video in their own niche. That’s why there’s numerous Pokemon Harlem Shakes.

As for subgenres, one of the weirdest involves pouring milk over yourself while dancing. Why? I’m not scientist.

As for copying dance moves, aside from the starter’s Humpty-Hump, the only major copiers are the upside-down feet-against-a-wall and people curled up on the floor and convulsing while furiously tapping away at their Macs. Of course there’s the bongo drums, but that’s a common enough go-to for dancers.

I’ve yet to see a Gangnam Style dancer in a Harlem Shake video. I believe the underlying fear is that a crossover could activate Skynet.

Halrem Shake videos are frighteningly prevalent. You could start watching them now, and never finish. By the time you’d reach the end, thousands more would have been uploaded, and so forth and so on. Where’s it all going? Remember, the only approved memes: