Having just reached the highest level in Call of Duty: World at War online, as well as having beaten the game proper, here's what the game has taught me about World War II:
-The greatest threat to our soldiers during combat was having their dicks ripped off by rabid dogs.
-Many veterans were, in fact 12 year olds, who would proudly proclaim to their comrades that they were drunk.
-Tanks could be circumvented merely by jumping over exploding tank shells.
-The Japanese had developed a secret technology that allowed them to merge into rocks, whereas the Germans could hover in midair, high above the battlefield.
-Being shot wasn't that serious, and in fact a soldier could fully recover by crouching down behind a crate for a few seconds.
-Russians, Germans and Japanese all spoke fluent English when ordering their troops.
-While many soldiers were equipped with headsets, none of them used this technology to coordinate an attack, and instead chose to place their mics near speakers blaring, "I'm on a boat!"
-Women did not exist during this time.
Fascinating, don't you think?
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