The idea is simple: bears, in bear suits. You remember the bear suit, of course, and probably the man who made it. This is not a suit in the guise of a bear, but rather a hand-crafted suit of armour capable of taking a bear swat to the face and leaving the wearer intact. Yet, the suit it cumbersome and heavy, and it's better suited for a creature of greater strength, like say: a bear. An armoured bear is the ultimate weapon. In the history of Man Vs. Nature, no man has ever taken down a bear without a knife, a bow, a gun, or perhaps a rock. What happens when those weapons become useless? The bear wins.
So why not let them win? We should be capturing these beasts when they trespass on our land, then equip them with special armour. What comes next is pure genius:
We fly them to Afghanistan, but not before we deliver a special care package of salmon, berries, and honey. Terrorist will collect these items and retreat with them back into their caves. Then we drop the bears. The bears will naturally seek out a cave to make their new dens. There, they will find terrorists, heavy and groaning with Pacific fresh salmon, and dripping with honey.
All hell breaks loose. Bears 1/Terrorists 0.
But what of the greatest terrorist of all, Osama Bin Laden? Better yet, call him, "Salmon Bin Laden", which is what we will tell our alpha bear we've specially trained to seek out and destroy him. This bear will have the most advanced armour know to man, and shall be dubbed, "Iron Bear." A bear is one thing: a bear with a flame thrower and jetpack is another.
If you think this is just shameful animal cruelty, think again. 1: The bears are protected with armour. 2: The bears are being fed a delicious meal. 3: The bears get their own caves to live in.
After all, what's the worst that can happen?
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