I bet it smells like a nerf-herder. Nothing in the Star Wars Universe smells good. Do you think Luke Skywalker smells good, growing up on a farm on a desert planet? Luke reeks of permanent ass-sweat. Obi Wan too. That old bastard wears a dark robe with a hood in 150 degree heat. It's like finding a rotting old piece of ham behind a radiator. Chewie smells like a wet dog mixed with caked shit. Chewie is naked. Have you ever seen his asshole? No. Why? It's covered in hair. Every time he takes a shit, he shits all over his ass-hair. You can't wipe that away. He has to shower that away, and he's an eight-foot tall beast covered with greasy hair. He doesn't shower. Hans Solo? You can smell his S.T.D.s from outside the cantina. Same with Lando.
Darth Vader? He's a burnt, rotting corpse inside of a tin can. His entire body is a mass of pussing lesions. He smells of motor oil and the Holocaust. The only shocker in the entire Star War series is how Luke didn't puke when he pulled off his father's mask and breathed in that perfume.
Even the Death Star reeks. It's a completely man-made construct, with vents leading down to a trash compactor that's a muddy pit of garbage with some unknown, segmented one-eyed beast roaming freely around. That probably explains why all Storm/Clone Troopers wear full masks.
Princess Leia? Remember when Luke rescued her from her cell on the Death Star? Did you see a toilet in that scene? Did you see a toilet in the entire Star Wars saga? No. She was going in the corner.
Yoda? He lives in a swamp, and he's ancient. He's fucking green, for God's sake. That might not even be his original colour.
The worst? Jaba the Hutt. You can't tell me that a thousand-pound slug with a lust for slave girls doesn't smell like seven layers of hell stuffed in a burito and left out in the sun.
A Star Wars perfume is the anti-sex. Even if it's intended for children, that fragrance will linger with them for the rest of their lives. No matter what their sex, even the wild beasts of the forest will not rut with them, no matter how popular their character in Twilight is.
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