Hollywood's Self-Congratulatory Handjobs

So the Emmy Awards were held last Sunday night and for some reason they let not one, but five reality show hosts host the show. It was oddly appropriate since reality TV has completely taken over conventional television. It was the only alternative to the months-long reruns that came as a result of the writer's strike. They should have only given half a statuette to the award winners for writing, as that's equal to the job they did. One writer was complaining afterwards because his speech had been cut-off halfway by the show's director, which shows you the level of a writer's importance. The show's director, however, had just won an award for directing another award show, which to me seems like a conflict of interest. Awards shows should not win awards themselves. Ever. It creates a rift in both space and time through which smugness can escape. It's as if someone accepting an award was suddenly presented with a second award for accepting an award, and so on and so forth. I say if your award winning director cuts you off during your acceptance speech after only a few seconds, walk off the stage, down the aisle, and up into the booth where he is, take his statue from him and break it in half. Give it back to him then and tell him he's won the award for being the biggest asshole.
What I've always wondered is: am I supposed to feel sorry for the people who lose? These multi-millionaire drop-dead gorgeous celebrities with their perfect hair and teeth? Am I supposed to feel sorry for them and their pretty dresses and fancy suits? However will they be consoled? Maybe they'll be so upset they'll sklp the after-party altogether and head straight back to their mansions in the stretch limosines to drown their sorrows in 25 year-old Scotch and mountains of cocaine. Why do they still need the confidence boost of a cheap plastic ornament to make themselves happy? They're fucking celebrities. I mean I'm empty inside, but these people make me look like if you cracked me open you'd see the, "Zippety-Doo-Dah," musical scene from Walt Disney.
FUCK!