Marley’s Mellow Mood: A Review

Lately, when I’ve been to the grocery store, I’ll pick up a can of Marley’s Mellow Mood.

It’s a “relaxation” drink with Bob Marley on the can, so you know it’s legit. There’s a lot going on here in a 355ml can. First off, it’s endorsed by a dead celebrity. Second, that dead celebrity is Bob Marley and it’s using a Rastafarian/Jamaican colour scheme, so you’re assuming it’s a can full of weed. I’ve actually drank a hemp infused energy drink, “Dank,” before, and let me tell you: you don’t want to drink a “hemp infused” anything.

Dank tastes like bong water. I drank a Dank and Vodka at a strip club once and ended up vomiting on the stage. Bear in mind that I had a lot of other things that night, including shots that were basically Tabasco sauce and unlabeled booze, but Dank, by far, was the most disgusting. There’s a reason beyond the illegality of marijuana that hemp isn’t used in more products.

There’s no hemp in Marley’s Mellow Mood, though, so it’s kind of misleading. The ingredients list reads a lot like a cup of specialty tea, because it basically is carbonated tea. It has the same, “Don’t drink more than one can in a day,” warning label that an energy drink might have, but it’s essentially the polar opposite of one. If a Red Bull is supposed to get you riled up for a night of raving and debauchery, Marley’s Mood would be your precursor to lying in a beanbag chair and rolling a joint. 

I’ve only had the citrus flavoured drink, and it tastes like someone mixed green tea with Mountain Dew, only better. It has that fizziness that only carbonated beverages have with the flavour of exotic tea.