Storage

The other night I was struggling to find something to watch on TV and was assaulted by two storage auction-themed shows airing at the same time on channels one digit removed from each other. That means that as I flipped through, I saw something that angered me and immediately pressed the button again, only to find a slightly-different show with the exact same premise. It’s like how you’re trying to pick a radio station and they’re playing the same Lady Gaga song. More so: these were both half-hour block programs, and they were playing back-to-back episodes. Back-to-back episodes of any show are a clear indication that the station has completely given up on trying to be original.

The commercials for these shows were for mobile storage containers, which ironically is the worst idea for an advertiser. The shows are about how if you ever decide to place your items in a storage unit you will have your possessions sold off on auction. Basically: you’re paying people a monthly fee to not rob you and should you ever miss a single payment they’ll blatantly rob you then laugh about how much money they’re making off your useless junk. It’s like a mafia protection racket, only your thumbs don’t get broken.

It’s kind of sad how these units end up going to auction. Obviously, the people involved have some sort of monetary source as they’re sitting on thousands of dollars in merchandise. More likely the storage units are being used by people in retirement homes who’ve kicked the bucket. Taking anything from them is like robbing the dead.

Sadder still is how the people in these shows expect to make thousands of dollars selling rusty frames to ATVs. Not the ATV itself: the frame for one: as in a pile of tubes welded together and in quite poor condition as well. There should be a second show where potential buyers tell them to fuck off when they try to hock their veritable junk. These auction shows exist because of trend tied in with the economy. People are going broke. That means they don’t have the money to waste on these junky items the original owners didn’t care enough to spend the $1 to keep.