Monday, February 2, 2009

Islam Light: Same Great Taste, Less Calories.

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Why am I just learning about this, and why do I have to hear it from Penny-Arcade? Is a webcomic about how crappy video games are my best new source in this day and age? A woman claims her daughter's talking baby doll and Nintendo DS both contain the message, "Islam is the light," and she's completely outraged. If they were saying, "Jesus is Lord," I suspect they'd already have a shrine erected with worshippers in the thousands flocking to catch a sight of the sacred idols and rub their leprous wounds on them in the hopes that they will be cured. No one's claiming it's some sort of Islamic terrorist conspiracy, but the subtext basically screams it. In Obamerica, (TRADEMARKED!) people write their racial slurs between the lines instead of on the walls of synagogues.
There's always been urban myths about talking toys like the Cabbage Patch Kids or Spider-Man action figures saying Satanic messages. It's a nice change of pace for a doll to give a positive message about a respected religion, except it's being treated as though it were just as evil because it's not about Jesus. Why shouldn't there be Islamic-based toys, save for the reason that it will outrage Islamic extremists and Bible-thumpers alike? A Mohamed action figure could likely bring about World War III jihad-style, even if it came equipped with a convertible that transforms into a helicopter and rocket launchers. Jesus could ride shot-gun, with a shot-gun, and they could fight crime Miami Vice style.
There's so many differences between Christians and Islam that I don't see any reconciliation in the form of hot-shot detective partner action figures. One group thrives on tacky religious souvenirs like dashboard-mounted Virgin Mary bobble-heads, and the other rejects all forms of commercialism, and even cartoon depictions of their Prophet. If only they would sell-out, we could have a free market where Mohamed holographic place-mats were the norm. Think of all the money the Chinese could make selling their junk to the Middle-East!
So if you're calling for a boycott on toys bearing the message, "Islam is the light," and start burning them in public squares, regardless of the toxic fumes being emitted, does that mean you don't think Islam is the light? Are you anti-Islam. Better tread lightly, outraged mothers of America. Osama could put a jihad on you. Al-Queda will suicide bomb your Tupperware parties. 

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