That's the mother-fucking Planet Hulk Gladiator Hulk and Silver Savage, as adorable kid's toys, for two fucking bucks CANADIAN. "Why is this so awesome?" you might ask, and I might kick you in the nuts for it. Because it depicts the Incredible Hulk and the Silver Surfer as slaves forced to fight to the death in a gladiator pit on a God-forsaken alien planet, and it's being marketed to children who've never so much as picked up a Hulk comic before. These figures can only be appreciated in the context of someone who's read Planet Hulk, and that sure isn't Billy Turner, your average five-year old asshole who didn't see the movie, let alone read the comics. If he brought these to the playground, he'd get shit-kicked, but they're perfect for my desk.
I've been going to Wal-Mart for weeks now and finding awesome deals like this as they clear out their not-so-old crap. I bought five Incredibly Hulk movie figures for $4.94 apiece, a Joker and a Batman from the Dark Knight for $3.94 apiece, and another Batman for only $2.00. After buying Marvel Legends and DC Direct for so long, I have a deeper appreciation for action figures that are heavy on the action. I missed toys that would shoot missiles. The Joke has a bazooka that shoots a boxing-glove missile a ridiculous 12ft, and looks nothing like Heath Ledger. My Eric Bana look-alike Hulk throws a fucking boulder which then splits apart. Another Hulk with an unseemingly small head has a chest that glows green, and it's bright enough to substitute for a flashlight. Can your Dr.Strange Marvel Legends figure do that? I DIDN'T FUCKING THINK SO.
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