Dear America: Imagine if today, John McCain was suddenly declared President Elect after being so soundly defeated in the election to Barak Obama? Say it was part of the fine-print in a Constitutional Amendment that everyone's forgotten about. It could be a mirror of what happened during the 2000 Presidential Race, only it did rest on the difference between a handful of votes, but millions upon millions? That's basically what's happening in Canada right now. Stephane Dion, who suffered one of the worst defeats a Liberal leader has ever gone through, now has the opportunity to become Prime Minister. This is less than two months after we had our election, where the Conservative Party clearly was the victor. Yet, since we don't have a two-party system (yet), he doesn't hold the majority. The majority is split between three different parties. Now they've banded together to form a Coalition Party, meaning we now have a two-party system, only a big part of that Coalition is completely and fanatically obsessed with splitting up Canada in two halves and taking a big chunk of it and making it a new country ruled by them. Let's say that someone in the States decided they wanted to take everything from Detroit down to New Orleans and make a country out of it, and call it Middle America, people would think it'd be a pretty bat-shit insane idea, bordering on high treason. Not so in Canada!
So while what they're doing is perfectly legal in our political system, it's basically a big glob of spit in the eyes of every voter. The fact that this is happening a month and a half since we went to the polls, and nothing of any major consequence has happened since then except for some grumbling over the budget, makes that proverbial loogie just a little bit bigger.
Let's say that you actually voted for the Liberals (you're in the minority), or for the NDP (you're in the minor-minority), or the Bloc Qubecois (ie: you speak French), you didn't vote for this. You're not getting a Christmas present early, because the political party you voted for is sacrificing all it's morals and judgement by making a deal with the devil. These aren't people who are the same page, no matter how much they borrow from each other.
So no one knows what's going to happen. Steven Harper, our Prime Minister for now, has got a week or so to come up with a plan. Then we either go back to the polls and vote again (because our votes apparently mean so much, after being thrown out so quickly by back-door politics) or else we get a new Prime Minister that no one elected and who had to announce his pending resignation in shame a few weeks ago.
Even if all this goes away and they decide, "Whoops, what were we thinking?" and break up their ill-conceived Coalition, we're still screwed, because the Canadian and Global Economy is in the crapper. We're a short step away from packing all our belongings into kerchiefs on a stick and riding the rails, so who really gives a shit what these people are doing? It's not like these clowns have any good ideas for how to get back on track. We're Canada: we've got fish, we've got trees and we've got maple syrup and that's fucking it. We can't turn that into money.
I might as well move to American and have me a sexy half-black President.
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