So they had a special weekend with GTA IV online-multiplayer where you could compete against the game's designers at Rockstar, so I decided to jump on. Of course, I'm immediately assailed by racial slurs through my headset, which isn't surprising in the least. Quite frankly, at this point, I'd be more surprised if people were polite and friendly, like Canadians. When I say, "immediately," I mean before the screen has even finished loading. During that five second interval, I heard the words, "faggot," and "nigger" at least twice apiece.
Considering that the game contain swearing at least once every sentence no matter what the situation, it's no surprise that this trend is carried over. I play GTA with younger people in the room, but during this time all I do is drive from point A to B, and perhaps try bowling. Good, clean, wholesome fun in a game that is designed to give into a pre-teen's violent hormonal daydreams. I have to do this with the volume on mute, however, because even if you're standing still, pedestrians will walk by and swear at you. If you walk out on the street and get clipped by a car, Niko Belic will exclaim, "Shit!" If a car slams on it's brakes to avoid hitting you as just mentioned, Niko will shout, "Fuck you!" at the driver, in his Commie accent. The writing is really stellar in this regard.
Here's the breakdown of every conversation in the game.
Character A: "How are things going?"
Character B: "How the fuck do you think things are going? My life is shit." (Character will continue to bitch for several minutes, then engage in off-screen sex).
So after playing this crap for thirty plus hours, of course a person is going to repeat it during a multiplayer session. Only, even if it's their first time picking up the controller, they're still going to act this way, because there's only two people who play this game: wiggers and rednecks. Sometimes these people cross both lines and start rapping about how they hate niggers. I call these people wignecks.
Ever mistakenly walk into McDonalds, and its filled with teenaged boys in printed hoodies (Michael Jackson calls this Heaven), and you realize that you've come during their high school lunch break. That's what GTA IV online is like.
In an effort to expand these people's dialogue, and to make things easier, I would suggest the creation of a new word, "figger." It's faggot and nigger combined into one. Think of how much time they'll save. So when that teenage geek starts singing some American Idol song in a falseto voice until you have to decipher how to permanently block/boot them while getting shot at using the clumsy control system and text that's too small to read even in HD, all you have to do is call them a, "Figger," and that's that.
I wanted to find the Rockstar players and congratulate them on a game populated by some of the biggest fuckwads the planet knows, but then I'd have to play an entire match without getting booted or dropped seconds before the timer runs out and I gain actual credit for the kills I've ranked up during the last 30 minutes.
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