Friday, December 19, 2008

FLASH!

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Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. FLASH! AHAHA! You saved the whole universe!

I was reading the old, old, old, old, old Flash Comics issue one, published in January 1940, featuring the origin of the Flash. Not THE Flash, mind you, but Jay Garrick, the original Flash who inspired the 1960's red costumed Flash, Barry Allen, who's only recently returned to comics. I mention this because I realized that the Flash has the most awesome origin story ever conceived of by man. He gets his powers... by having a cigarette. That's right, by smoking a cigarette. He pauses to light a smoke, and while leaning back knocks over some vials of hard water, thus granting him super-speed. Thus we have proof positive that smoking is good for you.

Here's an excerpt:

flash 

So there he is: a horny college student thinking about his cock-teasing 1940s girlfriend as he takes a long drag and BOOM! superpowers.

Awesome.

I also realized as I kept reading, that this issue includes the first appearances of two of Justice Society of America superheroes: Johnny Thunder and Hawkman. All this for ten cents, which in 1940s money is $10,000.000.000.

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