Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Holy Shit Kabobs!

Following closely on the heels of the Wall Street Stock Market Crash comes even darker news:
Bollywood goes dark as 100,000 actors and film crew members strike : CelebEdge : Sympatico / MSN
Yes, Bollywood is on strike. Remember those few shaky months when the Screen Writers Guild went on strike (because the writers of such stellar TV series like "Lost" deserve more money for their directionless dribble) it's going to be like that, only no one in the universe will notice. Sure, this affects tens of millions of Bollywood fans in India, but you could show a Western audience a Bollywood movie made twenty years ago and one made yesterday and they couldn't tell the difference. There will be:
1: Singing
2: Dancing
3: Forbidden Love
4: A disapproving father
5: Someone cries during a close-up
6: More singing and dancing
I've always had to wonder about musicals involving doomed lovers, even in Western cinema, like West Side Story. If your life's really so bad because you can't be together, maybe you should sing and dance less? Maybe then you'd find the time to solve your problems. I think the idea behind their singing and dancing is that they think if they find just the right song, then all the bad stuff will go away.
I'm here today to tell them that song is 1983 song "Jump," by Van Halen, and the dance is David Lee Roth's spandex wearing jumping high-kick (also known as: the "Squidely-Bop She-Bop"). If you go up to your lover's asshole for a father and do that, there's nothing he can do in response but surrender.

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