I’m 99% certain that someone has taken a deuce at work and hidden it somewhere. Either that, or there’s a dead animal, or possibly even a neglected body. I first became aware of a smell about a week ago wafting out of a service hall. The main run where I toil has very obvious signs pointing to the bathroom, but virtually no one visiting ever bothers to crane their necks up to look at them. This leads to people wandering all over the place, looking for a place to shit. Possibly, this is what happened. Since I have to be around the area eight hours a day, I thought I’d look to see if there was a turd lying on the ground. It wouldn’t be the first time I found a dump on the floor. Yes, I have found shit on the ground at my old job. It was lying in the middle of an aisle, with no one in sight. When you’re working retail, you’re going to find a shit or two in the most unlikely of places. This happens whenever you work in a situation where anyone and everyone can happen by. There’s no filtering of the general population. At least at a bar you have a bouncer checking IDs and tossing people out on their ass. That doesn’t happen in retail. Shitty people come in, treat customers and workers like shit, and then take shits. So when you find a shit, the best thing to do is pretend you don’t see it. Be somewhere else. You’re obviously not paid to clean up shit. People could argue that you are, but you’re not. Not even janitors are paid to scoop up human feces. It’s expected, but it’s not like it’s explicitly written in any contract they signed. By avoiding the shit you’re passing the buck onto someone else. You could try and tell someone about the shit in the hopes that they would clean it up, but try to explain the situation favourably to someone. Their first reactions are going to be disbelief and disgust. You might even get blamed for the shit yourself. Sure, there’s security cameras all over the place and someone’s probably on the other end of the lens watching this person take a shit, but they’re not going to do boo about it. They’re too busy uploading it to youtube to finger the perp. No one is going to come to your defence if you’re accused of taking a shit on the floor. It’s like being called a witch.
Anyway, I tried to find the shit, but no such luck. My suspicion is that someone placed it inside a box, then sealed it, and put it on a shelf. A shit box, if you will. There’s too many nooks and crannies to check, plus why would I want to find the shit to begin with? I just want the smell gone. I super don’t want to come into contact with a shit.
The smell seems to be fading somewhat over the days.
Sadly, it’s not the foulest stench I’ve come across at work. At my old job someone had pulled lobster tails from the Seafood department and scattered them around my department. It’s not like they were out in the open, either. They were hidden between boxes. So everything in the aisle looked neat and tidy, but smelt like rotting fish. I found maybe two the first time around, but the smell lasted. I had to go back a second time a few days later, and pick up and go through every box to find the last bit. Yeah, it didn’t smell too good. Plus the lobster tails were like $20 a pop. My supervisor nearly vomited when I showed them to him. Seriously, I could have held them a little closer to his face and he would have spewed. They had to be double bagged before being thrown in the trash, and the smell followed me around like Pepe Le Pew.
As pranks go, stink pranks are some of the worst.
No comments:
Post a Comment