It’s been a few weeks, but I only realized the Jodie Foster coming out speech at the Golden Globes could have had far-reaching historical impact… if it had been made, as she said, “since the stone age.” As you may remember, Jodie Foster, who’s apparently single and ready to mingle as long as you don’t have a dingle, was the object of obsession for John Hinckley Jr. (Sr. must be so proud), because of her role as an under-aged prostitute in Taxi Driver (technically there’s no legally acceptable “age” for a prostitute, but you know what I mean). Because of this, he shot at Actor/President Ronald Regan, who had nothing to do with Jodie Foster, or the movie Taxi Driver. If that makes sense to you, you’re John Hinckley Jr., and you’re in jail, reading this. How re you? Are you doing well? Are they treating you okay? I hope you’re getting the respect an attempted presidential assassin deserves in jail.
As an episode of American Dad pointed out, if Hinckley hadn’t tried to kill Reagan, Regan may have lost the election, turning the country into a Commie Paradise, bread lines and all. What if Jodie Foster had come out as full-blown gay back in the day? Would that have turned Hinckley off enough to stop him from his attempt? The entire course of human history could have been altered, unbeknownst to sexually-repressed and a little lonely Jodie Foster.
I read members of GLAAD were simultaneously applauding Jodie for coming out (kind-of), and snubbing her for not doing it earlier. Imagine what an openly lesbian actress in the early 80’s could have done for the cause? The Pride Parades could be celebrating their 30th anniversaries and…. I don’t know what else.
If anything, Jodie’s possibly America’s greatest hero for NOT coming out of the closet earlier, because of one crazy guy and a gun.
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