Thursday, November 29, 2012

XXX-Mas 2: ‘Tits the Semenson

‘Tis the Season. At work they’re playing a radio mix of 80’s and bland Christmas music, the two most blatantly commercial genres in existence. Sometimes I wonder what would happen to all the coked-up record executives in the 80’s if internet music downloads had existed at the time. People would be flinging themselves out of windows… onto mountains of their cocaine before the Columbian drug lords could repo it all.

I’ve always wondered if in the Deep South they play non-stop Country in their stores and shopping malls, even around Christmas. Like, they’re all super-blow-up-an-abortion-clinic-Christian, but even they think Christmas music is too gay.

Do you even want to think about how much money people are making doing shitty covers of already shitty Christmas songs that everyone’s heard a million times before? Quadrillions.

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