I took my son to his first parade today, for Canada Day, which is a lot like the Fourth of July, but without all the Tom Cruise. Since we moved, we could walk to the end of the parade route. We could have walked last year too, but we are lazy, lazy people. Abbotsford is a multicultural town, in that it has two cultures: white people and brown people, but the white people are still in your face about it. Case in point, this:
I’ve seen this around town before, but I didn’t have a camera to capture the madness of it. This is a creepy van painted to look like a S.W.A.T. team vehicle, but if you look at the decals, you’ll see that this is the Spiritual Weapons and Tactics van. It’s not just one van, either: they have two. What does a religious group that’s apparently targeting kids with their X-treme logo do with two creepy vans that roam the city? Plus: bonus points for putting Jesus on the “T.” I’m sure he’s thrilled to be associated with you. So if you’re in Abbotsford and the S.W.A.T. team squeals to a stop next to you and someone demands you get in the back of their van: don’t. Hey, maybe these people do good work for troubled teens, but it’s still giving me the heeebie-jeebies.
There was also a youth gay pride group marching in the parade, because gays love them some parade. When you think about it, ever parade is a gay parade. These courageous youths had the misfortune, however, to be sandwiched in between two religious groups, because it’s Abbotsford. It may have been intentional, but then it’s be hard to find a spot in the route that wasn’t between two overtly religious groups. Really, being gay teenagers surrounded by a bunch of Christians who think what they are and what they’re doing is wrong is a fairly accurate depiction of their lives in Abbotsford. I wonder if there were any kids in the Christian floats who would rather have been in the gay pride march, but of course would have been ostracized. Or vice versa: if there was gay teen whose moral values defied them being in the parade, but they went along with it anyway due to peer pressure. Those are the kinds of things I think about. I also thought about the, “It must be low tide at the pier!” joke when I saw a Cheerleader stretching her leg over her head. That is why I’m a dangerous person to society at large.
I saw another float go by with a blonde girl in what was clearly a Canadian Mountie costume she’d bought at a sex shop. The crowd was in my way, so I couldn’t see the sign to tell what the float was supposed to be about. Apparently, a church. I think that’s a better way to drum up attendance than using disguised pedophile vans.
Ever been in any kind of crowd, where you find a good spot, and then as you’re priding yourself on you selection, everyone sort of just budges in. As time goes on, they get further and further to the curb until they’re in the middle of the street, and some cop has to shout at them collectively? It’s nothing new, but it’s still weird. People keep inching forward as a mass, and if you’re not paying close enough attention, you’ll look over and see everyone’s moved ten feet in. More evidence that people are sheeple.
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