There's a new threat facing America and it has nothing to do with the war in Iraq, terrorism, the failing economy, or unemployment. It's Barack Obama, and how fucking awesome he is.
You might ask, "Why is that a problem?"
And I might tell you, "SHUT THE FUCK UP. I'm talking here."
I'll tell you why, Pepe: When something is too awesome, it creates something of equal and opposite shitiness. You've got your Jesus H. Christ, and you've got the Anti-Christ, Tsirhc Z. Susej (Why "Z?" Because Jesus's middle name is, "Hernandez," ergo, "Zednanreh." Look at your Bible, but don't open it.) You've got your good Spock, and your evil, goatee wearing Spock from an mirror world, stylish, but sensible. Sensibly EVIL! You've got your Superman, and you've got Bizarro, Superman's evil opposite clone. Green kryptonite doesn't do shit all to Bizzaro, motherfucker. Unfortunately, Bizzaro also happens to have, "special needs."
So let's say someone tries to clone Obama, which they will, the clone will come out wrong, because you can't replicate Obama's Kryptonian D.N.A.. He'll be the opposite of Obama, he'll be inarticulate, unloveable, old and white.
In short, he'll be George W. Bush.
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