Leftover Pennies

My mother taught me this simple rhyme: “Find a penny, pick it up/and all that day you’ll have good luck.” I’ll assume that this was true back when a penny was considered a legitimate and enduring currency. Now, the penny has been retired, and I wonder, “What will they do with all the pennies?” Literally, billions of pennies, once considered hard currency. Do they keep them in a vault? Do they recycle them? Who the hell is counting all these pennies?
As you know, it’s virtually impossible to get rid of pennies. They’re in your couch cushions, they’re under your fridge, they’re in the carpet at the back of the closet. They’re the roaches of currency. I find it’s almost impossible to go a whole day without spotting a lone penny on the sidewalk or a parking lot. It’s not even worth it to pick it up, really, even though I’m half-Scottish.
That’s what I think this whole thing is about, really. I think there’s a vault somewhere, and it’s filled to the brim with pennies. And every morning, Jim Flaherty gets on his one-piece striped swimsuit and dives into it like he’s Scrooge McDuck.

Pictured: Fiscal responsibility.
True story: I swallowed a penny once, mistaking it for candy. My dad still has it. It’s not a pretty penny.
How could you even tell how many pennies there are? Wikipedia says there’s 35 billion pennies, and they’re all being melted down. Perhaps, to make this American penny:

Pictured: The smallest amount of money billionaire Bruce Wayne can think of.
Sadly, one day my grandchildren will be born into a world without pennies. They’ll look at a penny the way they would look at a Spanish dubloon, if a Spanish dubloon was worthless.
What will happen to the piggy-banks of the future without pennies? What will happen to that satisfying clink-clink when you shake them, without all those pennies bulking it up? My parents still play cards for pennies with their friends, and now they think they’ll have to change to nickles, which are next on the chopping block.
Personally, I use debit for everything. I’m amazed if I open my wallet and find paper money in there. I even phased out my wallet in favour of a band called TGHT I helped kickstart.
Meanwhile, other people have so little respect for the penny they’re using it for decoration, like these people:

The sad thing is, this isn’t even close to the most expensive tile you can get.
What should you do with your pennies? Personally, I'd like to drill a hole in one and wear it on a necklace for good luck, like they do with Japanese Yen.