Despite the show being tailor-made to appeal to someone of my demographic, I just can’t get into The Walking Dead. I’ve only watched two full episodes and some snippets from others, and it never really bagged me. I know it’s based on an ongoing comic book series, but then so is Naruto. The difference is Naruto is a cartoon and doesn’t have to worry about budget cutbacks and if they’re going to have enough money to dress up the extras. Also: ninjas.
To me, my main problem is with suspension of belief. If you’re watching a zombie movie, you only have to put up with their gaping plot holes for an hour and twenty-two minutes. Every zombie movie is littered with moments where you feel the urge to shout at the screen, “You idiot!” when someone goes off on their own down a dark hallway, or the motley crue of survivors overlook the fact there’s an infected in their group. With Walking Dead, you have to do that every week.
The biggest plot hole of course is how the zombies took over the world to begin with. Of course during the first 48 hours there’s going to be a few losses, but not 99% of the world’s population. I’m basing that on the fact that any zombie can easily be defeated by a chain link fence, or a locked door. That’s all it takes. They’re too weak to break through most barriers, and they have no climbing skills aside from going up the stairs. I was watching one episode where the dude who banged his best friend’s wife and some fat guy were holding off a horde of zombies by standing on top of some lockers, just barely out of reach. Seriously, they were basically just cookie jars on top of the cupboard, and the zombies couldn’t get them. Even a five year old could have got them. Your cat could have got them. The zombies were helpless. Then, the fat guy jumps off and tries to make a break for it, and breaks his ankle, because he’s fat. He’s 300lbs and has a broken ankle, and he still manages to escape despite all logic. Then, at the end of the episode, they both hide behind a cage being held in place by a single loose bolt on a thread. The cliff-hanger was them cowering in fear hoping that the bolt wouldn’t rattle out of the lock. The fact it held for more than a millisecond is phenomenal. The fact that none of the zombies posses the intelligence or coordination to push that bolt out with their thumbs is embarrassing for everyone involved. It’s like watching a senior citizen try to open a childproof bottle.
The sad fact is that zombies in this series are less threatening than wild animals. Being cornered by a pack of zombies is totally survivable. Being cornered by a pack of wild dogs? Not so much.
How did it get so bad to begin with? No one turns into a zombie instantly and there’s plenty of time to diagnose a victim before they turn full zombie. Lets say there’s a zombie attack at a baseball game, or a rally. The zombie might bite one or two people before someone steps up and stops him. Whoever’s bitten has hours before turning. Obviously, they’re going to be treated and hospitalized. If they die, they’re taken to the morgue at the hospital and laid out on a slab, or put into one of those drawers where they’d never be able to escape. Hospitals are chock full of locked doors, alarms, sharp implements, and they have their own security. It’s almost ideal for fending off a zombie wave.
Another thing: Take any real-life situation where someone opened fire on a crowd at random. The highest death toll for a single shooter is around fifteen. Most times, the shooter is taken down after the first three shots. Those are real statistics for people armed with deadly weapons. A shuffling monstrosity with only his hands and his teeth as weapons isn’t going to get as far as that. There’s no way that can balloon into billions of casualties.
What about graveyards? What if the dead actually rose up and started killing? Ever see a graveyard without a fence? The zombies are screwed.
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