Things That Are Pissing Me Off:

1:The Bachelorette:
The concept of this show just pisses me off in general, as technically it’s borderline prostitution. Recently, however, there was a row over one of the 25 male contestants on the show having a real-life girlfriend.
…One of the 25 male contestants. A woman is dating 25 men simultaneously, and she’s upset that one of those 25 men is dating another girl. Listen sister: A 1 in 25 chance at a relationship isn’t exactly the best odds there are. Having a girlfriend on the side is just good common sense, especially when the other woman you’re dating is practicing polygamy.
Weren’t you just fucking dumped on another reality show? Aren’t you aware by now how this shit goes? If not, ask Flava Flav. Fucking grow up and find a man on your own.
Whore.
2: Wal-Mart:
Wal-Mart’s new slogan is: Save Money, Live Better. Living better an Wal-Mart don’t go hand-in-hand. There’s a fucking McDonalds inside every Wal-Mart. They’re physically trying to kill you with this shit. Wal-Mart is a fucking death trap: just ask the poor bastards who get trampled to death every Black Friday. Plus now they’ve got fucking doughnuts at the check-out now. DOUGHTNUTS. Half-a-dozen for $1. They may as well have a trough filled with sugar-glazed lard at the door.
3: Movies based on action figures:
At some point: God stopped caring about you. You’re the plant God left to wither and rot while he was on vacation. That’s why you’re being subjected to this bullshit. Transformers and G.I. Joe. Remember how awesome the cartoons were? Then you’re 30, and you’re too fucking old to see this shit, because it’s been dumbed down for today’s youth audience, whom Hollywood treats like the Twittering twits they are. Before you complain: it’s a movie based on a cartoon based on a toy. Of course it’s going to be terrible. People are fucking jumping around missiles in slow-motion while wearing some kind of speed suits and the Eiffle Tower is dissolving. What’s that got to do with G.I. Joe? Nothing. Why? Because no one without a secret cache of grainy VHS tapes remembers what the G.I. Joe cartoon was like. The kids who fucking watched that shit are trying to pay off their morgates now. The movies are just over-used special-effects with a brand name stamped on them to sell toys, because it’s got to turn a profit somehow.