Saturday, January 24, 2015

Who's the Man With the Big, Black Balls? Bill Cosby!

That title was the punchline to a golfing joke I heard at a Cub Scouts camp out. I know what you're thinking, and yes, some kids were probably molested.
Many years later, Bill Cosby is an accused rapist? Coincidence? Actually, it was several years ago that he was first accused of rape, but no one cared because he paid his hush money up front and people got distracted by their flip-out cell phones and boy bands.
Is Bill Cosby a rapist? No. He's a serial rapist. Remember that Swedish dude from "The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo?" He's basically him, but without the kickass secret rape-basement. A rapesment.
The question is: Does America really care as much as it think it does? Let's break it down:
America loves itself some criminal celebrities. Being a dirtbag celebrity rake in millions each year.You can get away with anything as long as you have enough name recognition in America. Don't believe me? Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Robert Downey Jr., etc. America loves a dirtbag as much as it loves a comeback.
But rape is a bad, bad crime. Doesn't that count for something?
No. Not according to the history.
Sean Penn? He fucking broke in his then-wife Madonna's house, beat her mercilessly and raped her. He threatened to kill her, but she eventually escaped. The fallout? Sean Penn is a millionaire with many accolades.
Michael Jackson? Did he butt-rape those little boys? Almost definitely. Why's he not in jail? For one: he's dead. If you need another reason: Thriller.
Mike Tyson has a new cartoon on Netflix where he solves mysteries. Wrap your head around that. Then remember he went to prison for rape.
Roman Polanski raped a thirteen-year-old girl, then fled to France, where he continued to be rich and sucessful. Many people have called for all charges to be dropped, despite the fact that he fucking did it and is fucking guilty as shit.
So yeah, there's four examples. Bill Cosby could be fully charged, go to jail, and then go on to be a multi-millionaire because America doesn't give a shit what you do, as long as you have had some sort of moderate success in the past.

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