Monday, May 19, 2014

Nintendo and Inclusion

Nintendo is vowing to be more inclusive in regards to homosexuality after a furrow about no including homosexual marriages in a game for children. Nintendo has always been WAY gay, though. Bear in mind that most Nintendo games are played by two sweaty, hormonal teenaged boys in a dark basement. that's just the start.
Their mascot is an Italian "bear." On his quest to rescue the Princess, Mario first rescues seven penis-shaped dudes, who are all very grateful. His kiss with the Princess at the end is very short and uncomfortable. Notice how long Mario has been rescuing the Princess, but he's never become Prince Mario. That's because Princess "Beard" is in denial, and Mario is in the closet. Sorry I had to break it to you.
As for Samus, kids had to furitively play through her games as fast as possible to see her in her underwear. You're encouraged to try harder to make your super-butch chatacter appear more feminine.
As for Link and Zelda... Is Link really a dude? Why are women better able to cosplay as him instead of men? Link's like Arya Starknpretwnding to be a boy, only hot for lesbos.

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