The Fog

So I watched The Fog on Netflix two days ago. I’m not going to shit all over the movie with a bad rating, because what’s one more drop of urine in a sewer?But I am going to say this:

I’ve never seen so many people thrown through windows. Like: never.

The first two chicks the ghost fog kills are thrown through the windows of the boat they’re on. Like that’s supposed to be scary, or something. At that point I could shrug it off, but then it keeps happening. Superman’s driving around town, and suddenly his windshield gets smashed in for some reason I didn’t really pay attention to very well, because it’s The Fog. Then, later, the fog throws the MILFy chick in the suit through the window, which is survivable, but apparently she didn’t. It’s kind of weird, because they didn’t even show the fog doing it. She’s just standing next to the window as the fog rolls in, and then she goes blasting through it. Then some priest dude is standing in between two glass display cases, and they explode, then the glass goes flying around and pierces right through him. So it’s like a Yakov Smirnov routine where, “In Soviet Russia, glass is thrown through you!” Then the mayor, who’s kinda blameless in the whole ghost fog revenge scheme, get thrown through the window.

One of the main plans by the people in the movie trying to escape the fog was to hide inside buildings and shut the windows. I guess the fog didn’t really like that idea, and tried to make his feelings known the best way he knew how.

The smashing glass actually relates back to the scene where the ghosts in the fog were dying (the first time) and they’re punching their hands through the portholes of their boat to escape a fire. It makes more sense, then other means of murder. Fire, honestly, would make more sense, but the fog does light the mayor on fire. Honestly, I don’t understand how burning to death on a boat turns you into a ghost fog. But think about the Friday the Thirteenth movies where Jason drowns, then starts killing teens with chainsaws and lawnmowers and machetes and shit. Shouldn’t he be drowning them? I mean the lake is right there, and we know he’s an undead zombie who doesn’t need to breathe. It seems like looking for all these sharp implements in the forest takes up a lot of his time.