Monday, March 15, 2010

Final Fantasy XIII: Snow Job

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I was all excited about the prospect of playing as Snow again after he’d been taken away from me for about ten hours of gameplay as part of the storyline, but then I saw how they brought him back. Immediately after his exceedingly long, but awesome cutscene I was thrust into a battle against four enemy soldiers and one way-overpowered robot. I was forced to fight them all single-handedly, but the battle starts in the Summon monster Gestalt mode. Snow’s riding his twin ice-bitches motorcycle. At this point, I had yet to use his Shiva Summon monster in combat, and had only used Lightning’s Summon monster, Odin once before. There’s a dial and you have to use various listed button inputs as the dial goes down. I did all this, but when everything was said and done and the points used for the Summon were used up, the enemy still had half of it’s energy. It was Staggered, but it’s Stagger gauge immediately disappeared once returning to normal combat. I tried to battle him free-style, but died. Snow hadn’t levelled up his Crystarium, or whatever the hell it was called since he disappeared several Chapters ago, and was underpowered. I died and had to retry the stage, but was allowed to level up my character in the menu in the meantime. I tried a second time, and still died under the same circumstances. I tried a third time, and this time I did Auto every time instead of picking and choosing my own attacks. This time I wiped the floor with the enemy in one go.

So: the moral is to use Auto on everything, every time. Having any input into the game at all is going to leave you disappointed. It’s typically the only way to achieve the 5-Star rating in battle as well. This isn’t an RPG, or even a PG, or a G. It’s movie. All you’re doing is clicking through scenes.

New From SquareEnix

Seriously, I’ve played every Final Fantasy game except XII, and I’m ready to call this the worst Final Fantasy ever. Only Chocobo’s Dungeon II is worse. It’s obvious they’ve put years of effort into the production, but it’s not a solid product. There’s no Role-Playing involved, or even real strategy.

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