2011

2011 is now a thing of the past, and I’d just like to say that as years go, 2011 had some balls to it. First off, I don’t remember so many douchebags getting their comeuppance since the Nuremberg Trials. Kim Jong Il, Gadaffi, and Osama were all members of W.’s “Axis of Evil,” and now thanks to 2011, they’re all dead. The Arab Spring took power away from corrupt individuals and put it back in the hands of the people, at the cost of many innocent lives. While the rich got richer, the world made it harder for them. The 99% told the 1% where they could shove it, and got a free macing. Berlosconi saw his empire crumble, and consoled himself in his teenaged whores. Donald Trump and Herman Cain thought that being terrible business gurus made them qualified to be President of the United States, and were shown the error of their ways. Text messages of dude’s wieners got the thumbs down thanks to Wiener himself. Jacko’s doctor got the tongue-lashing of a lifetime from his judge before being sentenced to four years for killing the King of Pop.

In fact, the only two news stories that didn’t involve completely reprehensible people getting fucked over by fate was the Royal Wedding and Steve Job’s death. The War in Iraq also came to an end, but I don’t think a single person who’s not currently serving in the military even noticed or cared by that point.

How will we top this? Why, with the end of the world, of course. Come on Dec 21st, 2012!